The Art of Saying No: Doing Fewer Things Better

How to say no and focus on the things that are truly important

Photo by Monstera

As a society, we often pride ourselves on being busy and available to others, but this can often come at the expense of our own wellbeing and effectiveness. In my own life, I’ve struggled with the tendency to say yes to everything that comes my way, often to the detriment of my own needs and goals. However, through the help of my business coach and my therapist, I’ve been working to improve my ability to set effective boundaries. I’ve learned that saying no is a vital, learnable skill for anyone looking to be happier with their work and life choices.

Saying no allows us to set boundaries, prioritize our time and energy, and focus on the things that are truly important to us. By doing fewer things but doing them better, we can increase our productivity, improve the quality of our work, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling life.

Since I started this journey, I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my focus, productivity, and overall satisfaction. I’ve also found that setting boundaries has allowed me to prioritize what really matters to me and to focus on the things that bring me the most joy and fulfillment.

As I reflect on my own journey and the impact that setting boundaries has had on my life, I’m inspired to share what I’ve learned with others. In this blog post, we’ll explore the art of saying no and the benefits of doing fewer things better. Whether you’re struggling to balance work and personal commitments, feeling overwhelmed with social obligations, or simply looking to improve your productivity, these tips and strategies will help you prioritize what matters most and achieve your goals more effectively.

Why Saying No is Important

It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying yes to every request or opportunity that comes our way, but the negative effects of overcommitment can be significant. Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, put it best — overcommitting ourselves can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout.

In her book, Tawwab explains that setting boundaries is an essential part of self-care, and that prioritizing our own needs and goals is crucial for our wellbeing. When we say yes to everything, we risk neglecting our own needs and falling into patterns of people-pleasing that can leave us feeling drained and unfulfilled. This can be particularly challenging in work dynamics where you’re eager to support the needs of a demanding manager, or if you’re a leader who adopts a servant leadership style.

On the other hand, setting boundaries and prioritizing our time and energy can have a range of positive benefits. By saying no to requests and opportunities that don’t align with our goals or values, we can create space for the things that matter most to us. This might include spending time with loved ones, pursuing a passion, or advancing our career.

When we set boundaries, we also give ourselves permission to take care of our own needs, whether that’s getting enough sleep, exercising, or simply taking a break when we need it. This can help us to manage stress and improve our overall sense of wellbeing, leading to greater satisfaction and productivity in all areas of our lives.

Ultimately, by setting boundaries and prioritizing our time and energy, we can create space for the things that matter most to us. Saying no is an essential tool to achieve life and career success — saying now helps us retake control, find a greater sense of peace, and feel more fulfilled in our life choices.

Tips for Saying No

While saying no can be challenging, there are strategies we can use to make the process easier and more effective. Here are a few tips for saying no assertively and politely:

1. Identify priorities and values: Before responding to a request or opportunity, take a moment to consider whether it aligns with your priorities and values. If it doesn’t, it may be a sign that you should say no. By focusing on the things that matter most to you, you can make more intentional choices about where to direct your time and energy.
2. Practice saying no assertively and politely: When it comes to saying no, the key is to be firm but respectful. You don’t need to provide a detailed explanation or apologize for declining, but it can be helpful to express gratitude for the opportunity and offer a brief explanation if necessary. For example, you might say something like, “Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to take on any new projects at the moment.”
3. Suggest alternative solutions or compromises: If you’re declining a request from someone you care about or work with closely, it can be helpful to offer an alternative solution or compromise. For example, you might suggest a different timeframe for completing a task, or offer to connect the person with another resource who can help them achieve their goals.
4. Prepare to say know before you need to: If you’re like me and often struggle to say no in the moment, try preparing your language ahead of time when you’re in a moment of calm. For example, I’ve found it incredibly helpful to pre-draft emails that state my priorities, assertively say no, and suggest an alternative. Here’s an example I use when someone is requesting a coffee or call to “catch up”:

Hi NAME,

Great to connect — it’s nice to hear from you!

Fortunately Uvaro has started to take off in ways that I couldn’t have imagined just a short time ago. Unfortunately that means I don’t have as much time as I used to have for catch-ups. I’m under a lot of pressure to deliver against some pretty ambitious goals, and so I’m striving to prioritize time with my team and our customers.

I do try to get to tech social events from time-to-time so I hope we can catch up there. Thanks for understanding!

Cheers,
Joseph

By using these tips, you can become more comfortable with saying no and communicate your boundaries with clarity and confidence. Remember, saying no is a powerful tool for taking control of your life and doing fewer things better.

Benefits of Doing Fewer Things Better

When we prioritize and focus on doing fewer things better, we can experience a range of positive benefits in our personal and professional lives. Here are a few examples:

1. Increased productivity and efficiency: By saying no to non-essential tasks or commitments, we can create more time and energy to focus on the things that matter most. This can lead to greater productivity and efficiency in our work and personal lives. As Greg McKeown writes in his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, “The way of the Essentialist means living by design, not by default.” By intentionally choosing where to direct our time and energy, we can achieve more meaningful results and avoid getting bogged down in unimportant tasks.
2. More time for self-care and relaxation: When we say no to things that don’t align with our priorities, we create space for the things that bring us joy and nourish our well-being. This might include spending time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies or creative pursuits, or simply relaxing and taking care of our bodies and minds. McKeown explains that “when we surrender our ability to choose, something or someone else will step in to choose for us.” By actively choosing to do fewer things, we can reclaim our power and live more fulfilling lives.
3. Improved quality of work and relationships: By focusing on doing fewer things better, we can improve the quality of our work and relationships. When we’re not spread too thin, we have the time and energy to give our full attention to the tasks at hand and the people in our lives. McKeown writes that “the pursuit of success can be a catalyst for failure,” as we risk becoming overwhelmed and unable to meet our goals. By focusing on what’s essential and saying no to distractions, we can achieve greater success and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Doing fewer things better can lead to greater productivity, well-being, and satisfaction in our personal and professional lives. By intentionally choosing where to direct our time and energy, we can achieve more meaningful results and create space for the things that matter most.

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and overcommitted. However, by learning the art of saying no and doing fewer things better, we can reclaim our time, energy, and well-being. Here are some key takeaways from this article:

• Saying yes too often can lead to negative effects such as burnout, stress, and reduced productivity.
• Setting boundaries and prioritizing can lead to benefits such as increased productivity, more time for self-care and relaxation, and improved quality of work and relationships.
• Tips for saying no assertively and politely include: identifying priorities and values, practicing saying no, suggesting alternative solutions or compromises, and preparing your answers ahead of time
• Doing fewer things better can lead to greater productivity, well-being, and satisfaction in our personal and professional lives.

As we move forward, let’s remember the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing, and saying no to the things that don’t align with our values and goals. Let us also remember that it’s okay to take a step back, slow down, and focus on doing fewer things better. By doing so, we can achieve greater success and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

As Greg McKeown writes, “if you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.” Let’s take charge of our lives and prioritize the things that matter most to us. The art of saying no and doing fewer things better is a journey, but one that is well worth taking.